Rose Explosions 

Strong wind sweeps through Bend,

and a string of rainy days

Feels more like Portland than the high desert today

I feel the pull of autumn,

run out of reasons to stay inside

So I hide myself in a hood,

and I take limping strides.

My mind wanders from counting all of the leaves that have died

To the loves I have fought for, lost, or threw into the outgoing tide

I think of the times my tongue was so tied,

and the many more times I let regretful words fly

The times my heart was so brave, but my body was not

All of the blows I took to avoid certain thoughts

I remember the taste of blood in my mouth, hot breath, the painful sting,

Leaving my body for hours, I remember EVERYTHING.

But I also recall the hands that lifted me up, the listening ears, the words, “i believe you,” being held through my tears.

I’m looking back on it all

It’s what I do in the Fall…

I search for glimmers of hope, as the layers of grief begin to erode,

I put it all in the petals of a purple rose,

throw it up in the air,

and watch it explode.

Leah R. Chatterjee


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