Under an Aries Moon

I feel like leaving my body
Over and over again
I’m writhing and wriggling inside of here
You’re just a memory already
An imprint on my mind
and a bruise on my thigh
Already flittering off to someone new
Meanwhile…
I am left alone with no choices
Sober and stuck
Following the electric currents in my brain
Until I find my way out of you and back to me
I’m in the forest again
Feeling my way through
Forced to relive every prick I ever suffered or inflicted
Because there’s nowhere left to sweep it under
The rugs have all unraveled
And I am sober and stuck
No phoenix here
Will rise reborn from these ashes
Just a memory of the flame
On the insides of my eyelids
And the knowing
Knowing I will heal again
After I have ripped myself apart
Till there is nothing but muscle and bone
I will heal again
I won’t forget in the arms of another
Or escape to the bottom of a bottle
But I will heal over and over again
Become somebody new over and over again
And you might recognize my face
The bones don’t seem to change
But I am leaving my body over and over again
And my soul won’t be the same
If you ever see me again
I won’t be the same
I am
Sober and stuck with myself
Under an Aries moon.

Leah Ruthe Chatterjee

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