Test Fail

I tried pretty hard to talk with you
try to understand a little bit
I guess I wondered what was hiding
behind your somber eyes
tried to imagine what could have made you
smile that way
I thought it would be like simple math
tricky at first before the smoothness occurs…
I worked pretty hard at first
to reach through your spectrum of blurry lights
and touch with just a fingertip
the heart of your matter
tried to see past your refusal to use your words
I tried to picture the scenes playing
behind your retinas
I suppose you didn’t feel that way
brushed my staring gaze
like ashes off of your jeans…
I tried to see things from over your shoulder
but the view from there is hard to frame
and I’m so tired by the end of the day
that I can barely even stand up straight
let alone make allowances for your strain
at some point you have to make way
for the ends that will inevitably fray
I guess that I could stay
try to find room for one more stray
collect your tidbits that you leave behind
keep them in the small box underneath the bed
until another rainy day
smile to myself in secret
knowing that not knowing
is somehow a fitting verse
I’ll put the book down for now
and hold out for a chapter
in which I am more than just a figure in the background
more than another drop in the sound
It’s less of a story now
and more of a song somehow.
–leah ruthe

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